Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
