at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
