my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
