She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
