Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
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