Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
