So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
