YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
