drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
don't judge my taste in strippers
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
