Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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