i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
How external is "for external use only"?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
