I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Ketchup is God's man juice
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
