I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
