I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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