I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize