as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
