We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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