I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
