just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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