508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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