I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
