alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
