Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
