I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
The adults are the big ones right?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
