break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
