He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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