She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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