If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
