You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
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