You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
