This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
