Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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