ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
