soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
