Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
