i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
she told me i tasted like america
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I don't deserve a penis
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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