I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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