butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
