don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
