like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
