I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
