We're like a lot better than the average bears
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
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