At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Randomize
