butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You work out of a Hotel?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
