we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Welp...herpes.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize