This house was built for laser tag.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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