Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
