Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
