just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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