How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
