i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
