So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
this will be a night to untag.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
