So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
